"One Week Later." [ 01 | 28 | 2010 ]

The defragmentation was incredible and worth it in every way.

Giving up Facebook was one thing, but one of the most difficult parts of the whole process was actually going without coffee and writing, believe it or not.

Being a self-professed coffee addict, the first few days caused numerous headaches. But after a couple more days of detox, my body was caffeine free. Sleeping later was pleasant as well, for obvious reasons. Instead of waking up at five every morning, eight became my new waking time. And post-detox, my body feels revived and well rested.

On a different note, it's amusing to see how new distractions surface as soon as the bigger distractions are intentionally taken away. Intriguing, but it makes sense to me.

Although I had been aware for some time, I particularly noticed that my mind has an extraordinary way of processing many things at once. And whereas I normally use writing as a purely cathartic way of structuring my thoughts, it was a refreshing step back to let my thoughts run at their own pace instead of pouring my thoughts into writing.

By the end of the week I was refreshed.

From now on blogging will be more concise and meaningful and perhaps even more straightforward. I am also interested in writing and recording more songs. It's something that I've always wanted to do more. However, our schedule simply does not allow time for that. And since our bookings are beginning to pick up speed, I will be content with playing my songs for the video camera until I find the time to track them.

I enjoyed playing my guitar in the morning, and I realized how much I have neglected practicing. I think I improved more in my guitar skills in the last eight days then I have in the last year. There is a wealth of information and technique I incorporated into my songwriting repertoire just by learning a few John Mayer tabs. And I am excited to learn more.

And this is just the tip of the iceberg friends.

Give it a shot sometime.

- Michael Stephen

"Thank you." [ 01 | 27 | 2010 ]

"Thank you Jesus for happiness."

- Michael Stephen

"Is All I Can Say." [ 01 | 26 | 2010 ]

"Rejuvenated."

- Michael Stephen

"You." [ 01 | 25 | 2010 ]

"It's all you."

- Michael Stephen

"Alive." [ 01 | 23 | 2010 ]

"It's good to talk to you, God. You make me feel alive."

- Michael Stephen

"Unconditionally." [ 01 | 22 | 2010 ]

"Love unconditionally, always. Even if your time is short."

- Michael Stephen

"Stability." [ 01 | 21 | 2010 ]

"My longing for stability is not a personality flaw, but a part of the human condition."

- Michael Stephen

"Short. Concise. Simple." [ 01 | 20 | 2010 ]

"Defragmenting works by taking small slivers of information stored in various locations and consolidating them so that they’re in the same place on the drive and thus easier to access in larger chunks.

Hard drive fragmentation is a great metaphor for - if not a literal manifestation of - what’s happened to our brains over years and years of processing small bursts of information."

- John Mayer

Recently, the artist John Mayer facilitated a one week "digital cleanse" in order to "defragment" his and his fans' mental and psychological hard drives. In his mind, the project was a smashing success. In his own words, "The cleanse was amazing. I'm back but I want to keep some of what I've gained. Fewer tweets, more links... longer phrases."

I floated this idea around for about a week to see if I could envision myself doing this sort of thing. And, like a sign from the heavens, my mobile phone puttered out and, in turn, I won't have fingertip access to texting, mobile internet, and Facebook / Twitter alerts for another week+. Additionally, due to my travel patterns, wireless internet is never as consistent a commodity as I would like.

Still, even if I have access to the web for the next seven days, I will still be making a deliberate effort to not sit on my laptop, Facebook, internet, blogspot, and YouTube every morning. There is quite literally nothing I enjoy more than waking in the early hours of the day, drinking several thousand cups of coffee, and hanging out with myself, my music, my thoughts, and the sunrise for several hours.

This next week will hopefully be made of less iPod and more guitar. Less caffeine and more sleep. Perhaps more reading and definitely more Bible. Less rambling, more processing and mental chewing. More conversation with God. I will leave my Facebook activated, but I will log out, and not log in for seven days. There will be zero computer usage except for one daily blog.

On that note, for the first time in my life, I would like to do less writing. Yes, less writing and more thinking. Hmm.. interesting, how priorities change.

That being said, in an effort to defragment my thoughts and find fluidity in my thinking process, blogging will also be somewhat different. Each post will consist of shorter, more concise blogs with concentrated meaning. Whether it be one sentence or two, it will be my attempt to explain how I feel without the fluff.

Sure it's an adventure, writing a four part, 1000+ word blog in order to chronicle an experience. And I enjoy spilling my thoughts. But this week is different.

Short. Concise. Simple.

More thinking.

Feel free to walk with me.

- Michael Stephen

By the by, you are also more than welcome to re-post this and participate as well. Take a step back, friends.

"Only time. Only time." [ 01 | 15 | 2010 ]

Fresh air. Cinnamon rolls.

You're in the front of my mind, and I'm last in line.

And before you read, I promise this is the last time.

Chocolate hair and olive green eyes make a shipwrecked man, coping with the end. And he doesn't want to start over, he doesn't want to pretend. But without making a conscious choice, he let the falling begin.

It would be difficult to put it into words, but he can't describe it any other way. The majority of him misses you every day. He didn't want to leave again, he didn't want to stay. But it was a war against the current for him, and you were there, feeding the flame.

My thoughts swim upstream.

So many people, places to go, and things to do. And this boy just wants to know who he belongs to.

God is always there, but a part of him wants a human to be near to. And he's glad he wrote, because holding it in would have been wrong. But he's getting up there, and it feels like too much time looking; too long, too long. And if he had to make a decision between loving and losing, he would have chosen both, because at least he would have known the feeling.

And trust me. The guy knows his heart is being silly, but he's daydreaming in California, getting closer to finding closure. Still searching, still learning. His heart is still catching up, but he's on the upswing. And things are getting better, thanks to coffee, Owl City, John, and Colbie.

But honesty says you'll be on his mind.

Because the only thing that will tell is time.

Only time. Only time.

- Michael Stephen

"No pride involved." [ 01 | 14 | 2010 ]

There is no pride involved in love. No pride involved.

- Michael Stephen

"I promise." [ 01 | 12 | 2010 ]

I'm not a pessimist, I promise. I'm just learning the hard way.

- Michael Stephen

"The Storm & The Rain." [ 01 | 07 | 2010 ]

If you could open your eyes, and see through mine, then you would see that there’s more to us than this. I’ll take a step past me and back towards you to change. And call me strange, but the warm and sunny weather makes it all feel kinda better because it’s almost sorta similar to you, babe.

I’m soaking in the Arizona soundtrack, yep. But nothing compares to the Atlantic Ocean breeze, because it’s what is simply home to me. Nothing to do, and nowhere to be. The sun sets the horizon for a summer love on the beach. And when push comes to shove, I know you and I both want us to be.

Me equals the son of a good mother and one of three gentlemen brothers. I got me a sister who has a handle on things, and a dad who's smarter than most anything.

But you, girl, you're the exception, the storm and the rain. You're the air in my lungs, the blood in my veins, you're the credit to my name. Beautiful, scenic, another star to climb, you're the hands to the clock to the schedule to my time.

Every breath is a new look, a fresh insight.

Because, Virginia, you will always be a part of me.

- Michael Stephen

"Never again separate.." [ 01 | 02 | 2010 ]

I'll steel my gaze and straighten my face. Because I'm a tortured soul, saved by Grace. I was in the desert, thirsty and desperate and she found me and filled me; never again separate.

And now that I've found her love through the long way around, I'll take advantage of the California sun and soak in the sound, because Grace and I have been through a thing or two. And no matter what you have done, she can discover you too. Every road I have taken leads me right back to her. And she will never let me down, I am sure.

Forgiveness has made me a few less enemies and this Pacific ocean breeze finds one lonely me thanking one you,

But somehow three.

- Michael Stephen

"Smiles and warm memories.." [ 01 | 01 | 2010 ]

Since I did not have internet access on the 1st of January, I reserve the right to post my New Year's Day blog now, when I have finally found the means to do so. Cliche is such a relative term, so I'll say the following, regardless of the day of the year.

It's 2010.

And this year, some parts of me will disappear.

And somehow some new ones will appear.

So in the midst of the smiles, and through the tears,
Remember who you are, and why you are here.

Because this one doesn't have to be the same as last year.

I hope your 2010 will be full of smiles and warm memories.

- Michael Stephen