I have had the privilege of traveling across the United States with a band for the last 9 months, staying in homes, traveling through over 20 new states (for me) meeting new people, ministering to youth, and experiencing new places, all while singing and playing my guitar. I've played in front of crowds of anywhere from 20-700 people at a time, and I have had the most grand experience of a lifetime. More than any 18 year old kid (19 now), fresh out of high school, could ask for.
I've met plenty of new people, and the top three questions I have been asked would probably be the following:
1) Where are you from?
2) How did you get involved in this ministry?
3) And what do you want to do with your life (after you head home)?
Number three gets me every time.
What do I want to do with my life? Well, if you know me at all, you could probably make an educated guess, and hit fairly close to home. "You want to make music and become a successful musician, right?" And I would reply, "Yeah, if everything went according to plan." Others may say, "You probably want to do some sort of writing gig! You got some serious literary skills, man." And in reply, I would say, "I could see myself doing that. And I would definitely enjoy it." And still others may say, "You should go into ministry! That's what you're doing right now after all!" And my response would be the same. "Why sure! I would be more than content doing that."
Indecisive? Yeahhh.. Perhaps.
Let's just put it this way.
I've spent the last 5 years of my life worrying about what I'm going to do with my life. And not until recently did I finally come to some sort of a reasonable conclusion (miracle, I know). My year commitment to the ministry I'm involved in ends in August, and when I go back home to Virginia Beach, I'm going to have to make some sort of a decision, one way or another.
Well I've made my decision.
I want to get married.
The heck?
Yes, you read that correctly. And even if you don't think you did, go back and read again (it's still there).
I've come to find that God has a ridiculous sense of humor, so I'm making plans to (possibly) break plans, but here's the deal: I want to find a girl, get to know her, date for a year-ish, be engaged for a little while, (-year), get married, and have a daughter. Yeah yeah, I know. You may be thinking, "Good gravy, you're only 19! You're just a kid!" Too early? Some would probably say so, but I'm not inclined to believe that. If you've known me for any reasonable amount of time, you probably know that I'm not new to the whole relationship thing. I've been there before.
And perhaps that's why I'm more often attracted to girls who are older than I. I'm done with the high school thing, and I've moved on. So many things change in a person from the time they're 16 to the time they're 21, that to me, it's not even worth it anymore. I would apologize to all my friends who are in high school relationships right now, but I'm not sorry, guys. It's just not worth it. High school is one 4 year long identity crisis for most people, and I'd rather know myself before I involve another person in my life. And I would prefer (incoming hint of sarcasm!) that they would know who they are too.
Oh yeah, and perhaps I'm the only one who thinks this way (although I certainly hope not), but I don't want to have to date someone for 4 or 5 years before marrying them. Sorry, but I would like to think that I would know by (at most) 2 years in. I digress though. I know finances plays a huge role in the marriage process, and it might not be able to happen (for that reason) when we're ready for it to happen.
"But at this point in my life, the next item for me on the relationship agenda is the last thing on my relationship agenda."
All I want in life is to find one girl and make her the focus of my life (#2 after God though, I should probably mention), and love her not only as a wife, but also as a best friend. And I want to have a daughter (with beautiful eyes), and love on her and any other kids I have. I want to protect, I want to provide, I want to teach, and I want to learn. I'm not sure if most 19 year olds are ready for marriage (mentally), and I realize that the harsh reality of finances will be up in my grill before I know it, but I'm willing to work with that.
As soon as I can provide for myself, I want to start providing for a family.
Beginning with my wife.
That is what Michael Smith wants to do with his life.
Thanks for reading.
- Michael Stephen
P.S. Don't get the wrong impression from reading this, especially you spaghetti-minded girls out there.
